"Forgive me but you’ve always inspired me to write.
Caused stirrings in my heart and storms in my mind.
I flip through our times together; I’ve scrapbooked them all since the moment I noticed you from the across the hall, and you felt me notice. Months before you talked to me in the bathroom, that faithful Tuesday morning.
Don’t worry, I won’t go over it anymore, as I’ve probably written something all about it before. That was a good day.
Forgive me but I’ve never forgotten how you feel,
while holding the small of your back, how my curved hand sometimes felt like it was made to hold the curve of your waist, or how your head fit on my chest as we watched dumb movies for days that summer.
The summer before everything changed. Before all the hurt, all the misunderstandings and stupid egos, and before I even knew I could call heartbreak by a name.
You taught me how to love, and that same love, no matter how displaced it ended up being, taught me how to heal.
We’ve been in and out of each other’s lives since then. Popping in, dropping by, filling in, making out. I wondered if we’d ever be on the same page again, if we’d ever find ourselves back, held together by the warmth of the summer we knew.
The fast forwards and the ones-year-laters that made up our relationship, would we ever just hit pause and go slowly from there?
I had always once hoped you know. And like I told you in our latest cut-scene, I was so ready to love you for so long. And to be honest, a part of me, My 17 year-old self, tall, lanky, who’s only responsibility was to love you, wishes I still was, but I guess what I’m really asking for now is: forgive me but I would like to be set free now, from all the stirrings and all the storms. From all the scrapbooked memories and all the summers that got too warm it hurt.
But I have one last request, I pray you forgive me because I will always still care about you, but maybe only from a distance now."
Stirrings (via notestocope)
I’m tired of letting you make me care more than I should.